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Indeed! And do you know anyone at Balbec? )

The ten-page passage about M. Legrandin, who is a terrible snob but cannot admit it even to himself and so weaves an elaborate mythology of his own independent and poetic nature whenever he is asked whether he knows someone, is the funniest thing I have read so far in 2016. It was lucky for me that there was no one in the store when I first read it, so I could just put my head down on the counter until I had partially recovered from the image of Legrandin writhing under the invisible arrows of his own unspeakable self-awareness "like a Saint Sebastian of snobbery."

"My father raised the subject again at our subsequent meetings, torturing him with questions, but it was labour in vain: like that scholarly swindler who devoted to the fabrication of forged palimpsests a wealth of skill and knowledge and industry the hundredth part of which would have sufficed to establish him in a more lucrative but honourable profession, M. Legrandin, had we insisted further, would in the end have constructed a whole system of landscape ethics and a celestial geography of Lower Normandy sooner than admit to us that his own sister was living within a mile or two of Balbec, sooner than find himself obliged to offer us a letter of introduction[. . .]"
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"And so, too, in later years, when I began to write a book of my own, and the quality of some of my sentences seemed so inadequate that I could not make up my mind to go on with the undertaking, I would find the equivalent in Bergotte. But it was only then, when I read them in his pages, that I could enjoy them; when it was I myself who composed them, in my anxiety that they should exactly reproduce what I had perceived in my mind's eye, and in my fear of their not turning out 'true to life,' how could I find time to ask myself whether what I was writing was pleasing! [. . .] And so, when I came suddenly upon similar phrases in the writings of another, that is to say stripped of their familiar accompaniment of scruples and repressions and self-tormentings, I was free to indulge to the full my own appetite for such things, like a cook who, for once having no dinner to prepare for other people, at last has the time to enjoy his food. When, one day, I came across in a book by Bergotte some joke about an old family servant which the writer's solemn and magnificent prose made even more comical, but which was in principle the same joke I had often made to my grandmother about Francoise, and when, another time, I discovered that he considered not unworthy of reflection in one of those mirrors of absolute truth which were his writings a remark similar to one which I had occasioned to make about our friend M. Legrandin (and moreover my remarks on Francoise and M. Legrandin were among those which I would most resolutely have sacrificed for Bergotte's sake, in the belief that he would find them quite without interest), then it was suddenly revealed to me that my own humble existence and the realms of the true were less widely separated than I had supposed, that at certain points they actually coincided, and in my newfound confidence and joy I had wept upon his printed page as in the arms of a long-lost father."

- Swann's Way, "Combray," p. 132-133

And then his grown-up neighbor Swann notices him reading, and offers to have Bergotte write something in his book, because somehow Bergotte is real and alive somewhere and Swann KNOWS BERGOTTE (!?!) and little Marcel -- he still doesn't have a name in the text, so let's just call him Marcel -- finds this BEYOND IMAGINING and politely declines, but screws up the courage to ask -- remember his passion for ranking actors? -- whether Swann knows who Bergotte's favorite actor is. Marcel, are you trying to kill me with your own adorableness? It's working.
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I have one major resolution for 2016, and that is to read In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust. Why haven't I read it already? I started a couple of times, back in the Nineties, but always stalled out. Now I'm about a hundred pages into Swann's Way and it's completely intoxicating, in the now-established tradition of books I put off reading for years because of intimidating cultural osmosis.

So far I love this book a lot. The narrator was a child once, but is no longer a child (we don't know yet what he's been doing in the meantime) but his childhood is always beside and in front of him -- at least for now, until he forgets again. I don't even know his name yet -- Marcel, maybe? -- he's just "the boy." Swann's Way is full of the garbled and poetic misunderstandings of childhood, like the narrator's early love of theatre:

"At this date I was a lover of the theatre: a Platonic lover, since my parents had not yet allowed me to enter one, and so inaccurate was the picture I had formed in my mind's eye of the pleasures to be enjoyed there that I almost believed that each of the spectators looked,as through a stereoscope, at a scene that existed for himself alone, though similar to the thousand other scenes presented to the rest of the audience individually."

This leads to a discussion of the pleasures of categorization, how the narrator and his friends used to rank actors and the thrill he got when a new acquaintance challenged his ranking, and then to a story about the narrator's uncle that is melancholy and funny and suddenly terribly sad and unjust. This is a book of memories, made so far entirely of memories, and it captures the feeling of remembering beautifully, with its viney sentences that are like daydreams. It's been extremely difficult to stick to the daily page limit I set for myself -- an attempt to keep myself from getting overwhelmed that I might have to abandon. It carries you away quietly and very far, like time itself will if you don't find some way to stick a pin in it.

So I don't have much to say yet and I don't know if I will have much to say, except: this book is great and I'm sorry I've put off reading it for so long. Maybe at some point I'll feel bogged down by all the digression, but right now it's the opposite of a bog.

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